It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
