Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Randomize
