U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
