Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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