Me. At least after what I've been through.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Come see our sink grown plant.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
