he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
worst night to have a conscience
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
