omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
