So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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