Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
