youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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