Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
