it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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