Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
