How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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