I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
