I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
