thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
