The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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