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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
