? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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