Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
