KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
