): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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