The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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