I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
