no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
