Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
