Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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