and you said cock pushups were impossible
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Randomize
