did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
