thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
