All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
