Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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