We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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