I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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