I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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