I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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