also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
