so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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