Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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