god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
