There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
