everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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