kristin has been a bad kristin
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
