What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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