My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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