Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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