I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
