He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
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