No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Let's get the cat blown out
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
