My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
