Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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