he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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