well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
