You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
