Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
