I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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